Baby's First Massacre

You thought it was a good idea to dress as the gun-toting hillbilly herder of the plains and dress me as a victim of your genocide? That is really f**ked up! 

Parenting Tip: Father-son bonding should occur over sports and/or beer and/or car repair. It should never involve matching outfits...unless you want your child to be in therapy for the rest of his life....in which case, it should do the trick quite nicely.

The Playground and the Hay Bale

Okay this is annoying. Who the hell put a haybale by my playground? Not good planning, people.

Parenting Tip: Getting between a baby and his playground is just asking for trouble.

To Spit Up or Not To Spit Up

Not gonna spit up, not gonna spit up ...

Parenting Tip: Most babies are born with the ability to projectile vomit like something out of The Exorcist. Cover yourself appropriately.